Seeing each other versus dating
Ultimately, failure to put their partner first was a sign these guys were not ready for a serious relationship, or at least not with those particular women, and that is totally normal.
But it’s not cool to pay lip service to intentions of growing a serious, long-term relationship and from the onset demote your lover to second-rank — even before you message her on
We don’t break up or anything we just loose touch and then reconnect somehow. I feel bad because I feel that I’m giving him an ultimatum.
His friends have made comments to my friends like “they are probably gonna end up together.” Does that seem like that he talks about me to his friends? First off, you say that you fall out of contact with him and then somehow you reconnect. You are part of what’s happening every step of the way, so when you fall out of touch both of you are responsible for that.
I’m talking about a specific promise: “I will meet you here at such-and-such a time.” That is a specific promise.
Just remember to keep in mind how you fit into all of this and what you have been doing when you fell out of contact and when you got back together.
Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.
Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to: Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then.
Lately though, I always have to text him first, and it takes him FOREVER to reply and sometimes he doesn’t even reply at all unless I text him more than once.
I also have been having to make all the effort to hangout and sometimes when we make plans to hangout, he’ll just bag out last minute. I first covered this topic in “Decoding Male Behavior: A Guy’s Take on Neediness,” where I talked in-depth about how acting needy at the very start of the relationship can drive men away screaming.
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After all, he said he was going to do something and then he didn’t. There is nothing more annoying than trying to go about our lives and do everything we want to do, only to have to drop everything and respond to a text message because some girl we just started seeing needs attention and reassurance.